Fairy Tale Retellings

I have actually written more than a few of these! And I write about what I learned on Novel Spaces . It’s an interesting process and I happen to enjoy the framework that retellings provide.

If you’d like to delve a little deeper Cat Rambo offers an on-demand class with Rachel Swirsky about turning Old Stories Into New.

Many authors have tackled various fairy tales and they remain a perennial favorite.

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The Exorcist Podcast!

Whoot! I talk about The Exorcist with Howl Out Cast (mostly werewolves but also other stuff) for 3 HOURS! LOL! Well it’s in 3 parts so you can listen at your leisure 🙂

And we don’t just cover The Exorcist, we talk about other TV shows too!

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

And I will be back with recaps of The Strain! Too late for it to matter… *sob* but I’ve been so busy!

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The Return of TV!!!!

No, seriously, this summer has been the showhole to end all showholes. BUT TV is back! The fall season has started and the A-list shows are upon us! I have thoughts on them! Lots of thoughts! First my two new favorites!

Favorite new show- The Good Place. For sure The Good Place. It’s hilarious and Kristen Bell is so funny in this and it’s got to be the best new comedy this year.

Second favorite new show- The Exorcist (which I will never spell correctly without looking up…) I have been waiting for this one and so far it is everything I hoped. Moody, interesting, mysterious. A little gory a little weird. I love it.

And the rest:

Designated Survivor- There was no way I wasn’t watching this one. I think I like the idea of a regular person suddenly being elevated to a job they never thought they’d have. Especially one with such heavy responsibility as President.

Pitch- I am THE LAST person anyone (who knows me) would think would be watching a show about baseball. BUT this is the closest to a live action Princess Nine I’ve ever seen. I like drama and I like sports anime (not all of them, but I like the built in conflict sports brings to manga). And surprise twist- her dad was a ghost all the time!! LOL! No seriously, watch it. I’m getting some Field of Dreams vibes. And yes- I have seen Field of Dreams, though not voluntarily. I watched in one of my college film classes.

I’ll post some more updates as the season progresses. I’m waiting on a couple of SyFy shows to start along with the official start of Falling Water- which- how is that NOT basically Inception the TV show?

ALSO- more recaps of The Strain coming soon! I promise!

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You CAN and CAN’T make a living writing

There was an article floating around Facebook the other day by an author named Merritt Tierce. The article’s title is, “I Published My Debut Novel to Critical Acclaim- and Then I Promptly Went Broke” which is pretty self-explanatory. But I have thoughts on this.

The author in question never wrote a second book, instead she spiralled into a circle of guilt and paralyses that lead only to a day job which took all her energy. A few people on Facebook embraced this article as an example of the reality of publishing. But I saw it more as an artist who stabbed themselves in the foot. They COULD have written another novel. They could have gotten a contract for a second novel. They could have done a thousand things differently and made it to full-time author. But they chose, and if you read the article, they did indeed choose, many thoughts and actions that lead to them never writing another a book. There is no way to succeed in publishing without writing another book.

Which brings me to a blog post from Chuck Wendig, which I feel is a sort of counter argument to Merritt Tierce’s article. His article is titled “HERE’S HOW TO FINISH THAT FUCKING BOOK, YOU MONSTER“. It’s the usual amusing and swear filled, yet full of good advice, post that we have come to expect from Chuck Wendig.

In so many ways the two articles compliment each other. One stands as an example of how to fail. One tells us how to fix it. One is the perfectly demonstrates what authors call ‘the sophomore novel blues’, an often crippling doubt that another novel can ever follow the first. The second, again, offer advice on letting go of both the fear of failure and the fear of success.

The choice as always, lies within us. Do you crack under the pressure and never start (or finish) that second novel? Or do you do you damn well write another book, even if it doesn’t live up to the first?

As Merritt Tierce so astutely points out in her article- people don’t pay you to write. They pay for what you’ve already written.

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The Strain S2 episode 13

The Strain Season 2 episode 13 “Night Train”! The end at last!!

Isn’t night train a cheap liquor? Or a Guns and Roses song? Or both?

Sooo, the human slaughterhouse is progressing nicely.

Yes, it’s a Nazi-I mean European model of processing plant…

We’ll be processing sheeple.

Welding!

Bye Mr. Satrakian, thanks for all your warmth and human kindness.

Satrakian’s face isn’t built to smile.

Even Fet says goodbye and good riddance Zack.

WE need to stop listening to fucking Coco!

Yeah, you will die, and you will lose everything. The Master isn’t going to put up with your shit!

We will get the Lumen or die trying.

The last train forever! Or at least the last train that won’t be headed to the Master’s sheeple plant.

Whoa, Kelly has let herself go.

Defiance doesn’t go over with Quinlan. Just like bullets.

I think Quinlan is speechifying to the wrong crowd- I don’t think they give two shits about humanity…

Insert a good St Crispin’s day speech from Shakespeare joke here.

That train looks like any weekend Surfliner…

Champagne and auctions! Lets have fun!

Eichhorst don’t NEED no weapons…

Satrakian knows your secret hurts Eichhorst!

OK, enough of the verbal fencing, get to the bid wars!

Enough with the rebar Fet!

Let the bid wars begin!

5 million dollars!

300 million! That went high fast!

Now, who has the most gold!

My money is on the Ancients.

NO! Palmer got it! NO!!! Frak!

Bag it for me, I can’t touch silver.

Oh snap! Palmer withdraws his funding!

Eichhorst is a shitty loser.

Shut up and take the book Satrakian!

Just kiss make out with the Lumen and get it over with Satrakian.

Shouldn’t the auction have been scheduled for earlier?

I’m double crossing the Ancients. But they’ve probably guessed that by now…

Bread truck is toast!

So bread truck escape plan…

Goddammit Eichhorst!

Quinlan rolls up, and cue Eichhorst fleeing yet again.

I guess Satrakian will live to grump another day!

Whoa! Bread truck is SERIOUSLY toasted.

Good GAWD how long have Eph and company been on that train?

Pfft- care to get drunk Eph?

Well, you don’t HAVE to stop for vampires…though their sheer body mass will apparently stop you…

Eichhorst returns to give Palmer what for!

Goddammit Coco- shut up!

Goddammit Palmer- shut up!

Coco’s gotten all full of herself…

Ha! GET sucked Coco!

Apparently you can take weapons on trains…

What about dad? No one cares! Dad is three sheets to the wind already!

Spider kids!

One down…how many are there left? There can’t be that many but they keep on keeping on.

Ugh Zack has to be told everything.

Just give Kelly her shitty kid back!

And by run I mean stop when your mother calls.

Good one Zack! You killed Nora. I hope your happy.

Can Zack just fucking DIE already! He is literally THE WORST.

It’s taking everything in Kelly not to eat Zack’s face.

You died for NOTHING  Nora! I hope your happy too! Zack you ungrateful piece of shit!

OMG! I forgot entirely about Fet and Satrakian! They emerge from the sewers.

Followed immediately by Gus.

The unshakeable Quinlan!

Satrakian knows Quinlan’s sweet spot.

Say goodbye to Nora Eph.

Just chop her head off.

Whoa! Nora went for the third rail! I thought there would be beheading…

Is there anything Fet CAN’T drive?

Satrakian sends us off with a crap ton of narration.

The End!

Onward! To season 3!

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The Strain S2 episode 12

Episode 12 “Fallen Light”

Flashback- Not that Long Ago

Samwise! I miss him…

Ephraim will burn your barn down!

*coughdoctorhottie*

USAMRIID is NOT just all about bioweapons!

How would you like to work under me? I mean–

Whoa! They still have phone calls!

Zack, no one is safe in Georgia.

Just ship Zack off so we never have to see him again.

Do we want to know where Augustin got the bus?

Jailbreak!

But seriously- the odds they are alive seems very poor…

Also- why would criminals care about fighting vampires?

Score! Angel still has the cross-shaped brass knuckles!

Ugh Zack…

Nora judges Eph with her judgey eyes.

Samwise!

Samwise- voice of reason!

Dutch is outtie! But with regrets.

Nikki- your prize is an obnoxious hacker!

That was a very long goodbye kiss…

Mayor 1% is still disgruntled!

Paid in loot is fine.

It’s a beheading tax.

Really? We still have DAs and due process? Aren’t we a little past that by now?

Captain Henchman- throw the mayor to the curb!

And the jail is just full of vampires… and at least one abusive guard…

Who maybe should have been nicer to his prisoners.

Wow, that was the world’s easiest jailbreak.

Sooo, basically your plan is to become a pirate Gus…

Satrakian and Fet, field trip for the Lumen part 5

Mr Creem is wise to the cane.

The Lumen, at last! AGAIN.

OMG Satrakian, just marry the Lumen already.

Price has gone up from one priceless watch to Eldritch Palmer.

Creem is making bucks off the apocalypse.

Humans are the worst!

OMG! Finally bid wars!!

Paid in gold?! How are you going to carry all that??

Murder is fun!

NOW it’s a jailbreak with vampires!

Don’t kick the heads! Did no one tell you about the worms?

Dissention in the ranks already. Quelle suprise…

Bus it is.

You never wanted Zack back, Eph. You just wanted to stick it to your ex.

Whoa, Quinlan has plush digs.

The ancients have deep pockets, despite their lack of pants!

Justine the Impaler prepares for politicking.

Mayor 1% is dead!? But who will look after the interests of the city’s wealthy now?

Palmer will put Justine the Impaler on the throne! Or whatever passes for government at this point.

Justine might not have time for your petty concerns at this point Eph.

You will call me EMPRESS Justine!

OMG! Who cares who goes to the Lumen auction?

Palmer, you are a fucking idiot.

The hole in Dutch’s plan- Nikki might not want her back.

Guess Nikki doesn’t want to kill vampires for the rest of her life.

Justine even knows what a bioreactor is?

Samwise!

My hobbit love is no laughing matter! Now, who wants second dinner?

Don’t bang on my table- I eat there.

I don’t think Eph deserves to be happy.

So Eph waited one day after the divorce was filed to bang Nora? Classy.

Travel papers from the Impaler have come through!

Eph can’t be left alone on trains.

“I never stopped loving you” But I also never stopped banging other people.

Where the fuck did Quinlan get that apartment?!?! Is it even an apartment? Is it a waiting room? Office?

You shut your filthy mouth Quinlan! Satrakian is our last hope!

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The Strain S2 episode 11

Season 2 Episode 11 “Dead End”

Dutch, meet Eichhorst’s play room. Play room, Dutch.

And we are joined by, well I just brought him here for cocktails…

What are you going to do with me? Everything. Everything except anything involving your junk, which fell off years ago…

Cold-cocked Satrakian finally wakes up. Going to do something useful yet old man?

I totes saved your life Fonescu- you owe me one Lumen bitch.

Eichhorst just wants a friendly chat?!

Can you maybe NOT tell me about yourself Eichhorst?

Also- overcompensating much?

You’re right. Dutch doesn’t understand not getting laid.

Ewww, flashback Eichhorst…

He’s a door to door salesman!?

And not actually terrible at it…

Oop- economic trouble in Germany cockblocks Eichhorts’s career.

Always be selling yo.

Courage, strength and leadership are not attributes normally associated with door-to-door sales…

Gus and Anya sitting in a tree…

And that’s a lot more than kissing…

Are you sure this is the right Mayfield? Mayflower? Whatever that hotel is called… I was hoping for a lot less um… military presence…

Yes Anya- time to go so some actual plot can happen.

Let’s commemorate out desperate flight from the vampire apocalypse with selfies!

Saved by architecture! Again…

Pay me back Fonescu! I command you!

It’s Fonescu’s time to shine! Fonescu is smart!

I got your credentials right here. Oh, seriously? For real credentials.. OK…

Aaaand you’ll never get rid of Angel now…

Eichhorst was totes serious about those cocktails…

Flashback Eichhorst… again… look, we still don’t like him and romancing the Helga isn’t helping…

Eichhorst’s true calling is… Nazis! Duh!

Oops, anti-semitism doesn’t go over well with a Jewish date…

Pineapple flavoured Dutch.

The pineapple is non-negotiable.

Satrakian is going to die in Fonescu’s shitty apartment due to a total lack of friends.

Dutch is good with her toes.

Dance off- pants off.

Is it me, or is Eichhorst going through some shit and using Dutch to work it out on…

Mace to the FACE.

Architecture!

Eichhorst might as well just take his face off.

Franklin D. had a private subway line?

Dutch finally found the stairs…

To no avail…

I like playing with my food- you’ve been awesome.

Fet- it’s brick…like your head!

Finally, the dynamite fetish proves useful!

No Eichhorst for you!

Deportation is the better option Helga- take it.

Bow before me former office boss!!

Yikes- apparently deportation meant lynching in early WW2 Germany.

Wow! Creem holds ALL of Roosevelt Island.

I have the Necronimcon- I mean the Lumen…

Medieval biohazard sign…

 

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