12 Monkeys: Episode 4 Recap of Doom

Open on 2015. More crap on The Nightman- I mean Night Room.

Killing people is Cole’s answer to everything.

Really? We have to stop for back story?

Nope. Thank goodness.

Back to the Future!

For back story. Dammit.

Eat the dog or not. Just DO something.

Atari is a Go term?

And back to the Future future.

“If this facility were to fall all would be lost.” OK, let’s not overstate things. So far there are survivors of the plague. SO IT’S FINE. It’s all fine. Good grief!

Waving your moral compass around? Can you go to jail for that?

Future past.

Aaaand, there’s still a white guy in charge…

Hard sell job offer Deacon. (Pffft- OMG, of course his name is Deacon. The name of  every TV psychopath ever.)

I could honestly give not even two shits about the “facility” or the invasion. They are ALL too stupid to live. Oh tunnels they’ll never find those! Except EVERYONE finds the goddamn tunnels in EVERYTHING.

Tunnels, guns blah, blah, blah.

Please be dead, please be dead, please be dead.

Goin’ back in tiiime! (It’s a song. Trust me, it’s just before your time.)

The all important facility falls in five minutes. They have worse security than Star Trek.

Finally! Some excitement! A commercial break!

And again with 2035?

Stop robbing people for dog food and start MOTHERFUCKING PLANTING CROPS YOU IDIOTS,

We’re creating douchebags!

Yes, let’s murder survivors. GAWD just go extinct already!

Ugh! I cannot even describe my utter loathing of Cole. A show like this needs a charismatic lead to carry it and “Cole” is the antithesis of charismatic. I hate the character, I hate his acting, I hate every scene he’s in. And he’s in almost all of them. And it’s painful to watch.

Deacon looks like a sitcom dad… and Cole looks like a sitcom uncle.

Please let this conversation end soon.

Finally!

Now what?

No seriously- what’s happening?

GODDAMN IT! 2035 AGAIN? Fuck you show. Fuck you.

Ramse has Deacon’s number. (The flashbacks have made me like Ramse more at least. Why couldn’t HE be playing Cole? A potted plant would be a better Cole than Cole.)

OK NOW when is it?

Stop murdering your way across the countryside and YOU could have a piece of civilization too Deacon. (Plus without factories the water WOULD be clean. Seriously.)

Truth powder? Topical LSD? Magic? What is happening??

So Cole is the Benedict Arnold. The least he could do for us is die of shame.

Soooo they’re changing the timeline?

Breaching the tunnels I told them about!

How many Coles can exist in one timeline?

Won’t one of them die? Or will they merge? Or will they create a black hole that consumes the world  (or at least this show)?

Shoot Deacon. Seriously, just die already.

Goddammit.

Soooooo what happened to spare Cole?

I mean it!!! WTF happened to spare Cole?? Is he just stuck in an infinite feedback loop of going back to Monday?

Fuck you time travel. And fuck you show.

2015 again. Le sigh.

“Never really been good at talking.” Or acting. Or working out. Seriously, Cole is kinda doughy.

I found the Nightman! I mean Night room. I mean whatever dumbass shit will set us up for the next episode.

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