12 Monkeys: Episode 3 Recap

Open in 2015.

Gun practice sans ammo. Aren’t there firing ranges?

But firing ranges don’t have Cole for a target… if only it were loaded!

Gah! Takeout!

OMG, are there no forks in the future? Manners.

Le sigh… The JD Peoples (asylum? I don’t know whatever) is the name of the two writers of this episode. Cue, not so clever self-insertions.

Police stuff with flashback… OH! explained in the next scene. It’s someone Dr. Whatsherface knew.

Meanwhile at the Legion of Doom- I mean the CDC…

Dead Doctor dead end.

I’ll go back in time!

“The Monkey’s find the night room” should be the name of a band.

Stay away from me! In the past!

2043- pause for grubby council arguing over time travel. How are they all not mainlining aspirin?

WTF was that entire interaction with that soldier?

Anyway… You may or not get fried when we send you to Haiti. Have fun and bring me back t-shirt.

2014 (normally I don’t hate time travel this much, but this show makes hate it.)

Bland Ex-Boyfriend.

You’re chasing out breaks and helping people for selfish reasons!

The world MIGHT end. You don’t know.

Haiti, still 2014. Still bored.

Treat my daughter, because I have a gun, never mind that you’re doctors and are actually treating people…

Also- the Doctors have ZERO protective gear on- what do they think will save them- their whiteness?

Computer montage.

His kid sister died of measles! Get vaccinated yo!

Gah!! This scene is interminable! I’m SO BORED!

Thank gawd! Nookie!

Enter Cole. Who is not a pile of scrambled guts. Sad now.

Ugh. 2043. Outside, in the lush and clean human-free paradise the earth has returned to being…

Soldier Pee Joke.

Someone watched Oblivion *coughscavs*.

So…ummm…what?

2014 Haiti. Again.

Temporal Interference.

Cole infiltrates the tent hospital.

If it’s air born? Does anyone know anything about anything?

Henri- thank you. For last night…

Voodoo monkey foreshadowing.

Henri got ninja skills!

Henri has info on the Night room, but it will have to wait for-

Meanwhile in 2043, the timeline I care about the least.

More talking.

There’s a town?

Shit like this makes me really miss the movie where the entirety of humanity was living underground and there was nothing up top but ruins and bears.

Viral gene therapy never ends well.

Gah! Preacher!

And shave those eyebrows dammit.

Way to waste an advantage Cole.

The sick are dying and Cassandra panics.

Then I’ll go outside and shoot people!

“You don’t know me, but you will!” Time travel greeting number 1.

You made me bleed my own blood!

No one knows where the Night Room is, it moves around like the Twilight Zone, or pimples…

OMG. Now they have to desperately search for UV lights… I’m sure it will be riveting.

It’s just a regular dreaded disease. Everything is fine but you.

Ugh 2043. Cole is back from his tropical vaycay.

Oh goddammit! Just go to a firing range!

The kickback from a 9mm knocked you on your ass?

Wrong plague, wrong time.

No one cares. No one cares about any of this.

Liar, liar, pants on fire.

Fuck off 2043.

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