Recap Bonus Round: 12 Monkeys Episode 1

Question 1: Did this movie really warrant a TV show?

Question 2: The world is actually an awesome place without people- no pollution, teeming animal life, endangered species make a come back…

Disease lecture part 1000th. Every plague movie ever opens with this exact symposium.

No one ever looks in their back seat.

On my God. Some one grabbed Cassie. I am so worried I can’t act.

It took too long to find you? You could have Googled her…

Oh wait- I did Google you.

Where is Nina Frost? LELAND dammit, listen to me enunciate!

What’s his name? Well it’s not Bruce Willis.

This watch, which looks like many other watches is YOUR watch. Swearsies.

Time quake!

Past bullets hurt just as much as future bullets.

And disappeared!

Still waiting for your kidnapper?

Miss- you can’t sleep in the lobby. For a week.

The homeless man is with me.

Apparently no one in 2043 can patch a bullet wound.

Flashback the first. Destiny calls.

Flashback the second. You aren’t bound by time because we gave you an inoculation for it. Yeah. We can totes do that.

Pffft-  Remember your mission. Since when in the history of time travel movies/TV has time travel ever been about anything other than nookie?

Just because you don’t have a practice anymore doesn’t mean you’re not a doctor anymore…

Humanity is on the way out. And this is a problem why?

We found a time machine! Super convenient!

Why didn’t they just “Terminator” this bitch and kill every Leland Frost in the phone book?

Ok fine! Frost is his code name…His secret government “I make illegal biological weapons code name!” Which is so much more plausible.

Lets re-enact scenes from the movie now! OK!

Yeah- overpopulation and an eco-apocalypse is SO much better than plague apocalypse…

You bought him a new suit but couldn’t take the time for a shave and a haircut?

You look clean?

Look it’s my conveniently placed ex-boyfriend!

Target acquired.

“It’s great to see back on your feet” Code for: I see you aren’t crazy anymore.

Agree to disagree about time travel.

Knife upgrade.

Rolling Stone- get it? His last name is Jagger! Like the rock star! Which I just mentioned.

Well thought out assassination plan not turn out well? Quelle suprise.

Worst. Party. Ever.

Let’s re-enact the movie again!

Because Science.

Repreese?

We met? In ’87? Not yet. But we will, back then. When will then be now?

Because The Horsemen of the Apocalypse sounds EXACTLY like The Army of the 12 Monkeys.

It IS all about me!

Time for the watch trick again!

Timesplosion!

“You can’t kill me! Because time travel!”

Oh wait- yes you can!

And TWIST!

Darn, you’re still here Cole…

Keep the watch so it can save us again in the past. Do you have a headache yet?

I totes just ruined your life. Have fun living on the run and hiding out until you die or are arrested.

And back to the future!!

Let’s say the title of the show a few more times!

And hello Not-Brad Pitt. In fact hello Not-Male Not-Brad Pitt.

 

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