Seriously? My nanny wants me to care for my wife and children? Uuuugh… don’t make me work.
Dude, I saved your white ass little kids’ lives. Suck it up and go home to your bitch-ass wife.
“And winner of the ‘Best Interaction with a Cabby’ award goes to… The Strain! Yay! ” OR “OMG! I almost peed laughing!”
Dude, even the Old Man knows what a control freak of a jackass you are! AKA- Shut up Ef. You are an idiot.
(Also- there is a noticeable lack of dementia addled old woman where the hell did they stash her??)
Flashback ’44 part… whatever. Nazi douche is still douchey. But, he comes bearing random death and a job offer.
We now pause for naked hot dude break. Enjoy it while it lasts.
Boy, Mrs. Samwise is pretty judgmental for a dying chick. But thank you for calling Ef a self-righteous prick. Someone had to say it.
Flashback 44 part- the next. Woodworkers of the Third Reich. OR Nazi’s are really creepy when they are trying to be… friendly? When they want you build a giant coffin for their undead master.
Who cares if the shitty white kids die?? Just take them home! Also- kidnapping is a Federal offense… just saying.
Ugh! Dying old man will apparently never just shut-up and die!
Dude! Your bro has worms and is going to eat your face!!!
Hoobris? Is that how you pronounce hubris??
Flashback ’44- Drunk Nazi’s are even scarier than regular Nazi’s. Also- they will win at Chicken.
Yo mama ate yo daddy’s face!
Holy crap! Momma is a rabid animal!
Also, vampires shouldn’t live in glass houses.
That’s right- an entirely glass wine cellar will hide us!
Also- you live there!? How can you not find a way out??
Samwise grew a pair. “Consider your wife dead. Consider your children dead, consider your dog dead. Are you scared yet?”
Ugh! Worst vampire hunters. Ever.
Now for a segment we like to call subway tag…
HOLY WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? COBRA COMMANDOS?!?!?!? (At this point I want to say that The Strain is the greatest fucking TV show ever made ever in the history in TV)
Cobra Commandos- are super nice- until they put a spike in your skull. But gosh, they are so polite about it!
OK! I would like t point out again that the lady CDC doctor left her dementia addled mother ALONE in a pawn shop! She is going to burn it down trying to make toast and they are going to come home to a smoking hole in the ground. And a dead mother.
Lastly I would like to say that I almost died of indescribable joy when the Cobra Commandos showed up! And shooting the nanny’s daughter, oh-so-politely in the head DID NOT TARNISH MY JOY IN THE LEAST.
P.S. Sorry for all the caps this episode!